Let's Have Funs With These Jokes

Joke no.1:

A businessman was seated beside a sexy woman in a plane. He noticed that the woman was reading a statistic about sexual data in the magazine that she holds. The data said that the Africans have the longest penis in average and the Poland mans have the largest penis diameter in average.

‘Do you believe of that data?’, he asks the woman. “Why I’m not supposed to believe it? I’ve met with several of Africans and they had proved it to me”, she said with convinced before continued, ‘By the way, my name is Michelle. What’s yours?’

‘Tonto Kowalski. Nice to meet you…’

Joke no. 2:

An idiot man married with a dumb woman. At their first night, they stripped naked to make love. This idiot man does not know about his wife’s sex organs and how it looks like. He gets shocked when he saw a ‘wound’ at her wife’s loins. Then, he decided to bring his wife to hospital.

At the hospital, the doctor ask the man to stay outside so he can check her wife. But the doctor felt so horny and he can’t stay without screwing her. So, the doctor screwed the man’s wife and after he finished it, he calls the man to bring her wife home.

At home, the man checks his wife and get shocked. ‘What a dumb doctor! I ask him to sew the wound but he’s only puts glue on it!’

Joke no. 3:

A young man meets with a girl and after has conversations for two hours; they decided to get to the young man’s home. They make love and then, after they had finished, the young man asks the girl, ‘Are you finished?’. The girl says, ‘No’.

Hearing that, the young man was not hesitated to have sex for the second time. This time he works all out just to puts the girl to have her orgasm. After they had finished for the second time, the young man asks the girl again, ‘Are you finished?’, and he was shocked when the girl still says, ‘No’.

Frustrated with that answer, the young man without hesitated summoned all his strengths and screwed the girl until they both exhausted. After they had finished for the third time, the young man asks the girl again, ‘Are you sure you’re not finished?’, and this time the girl says, ‘No, I’m Swedish’.

Jokes no. 4:

At a bar, a drunken man was being arrested by a policewoman. ‘You have rights to remained silent. Everything that you said will be used against you’.

The man smiles and simply says, ‘Boobs’.

Joke no. 5:

At a disco bar, a man asks to the bartender, ‘Are you a republican?’. The bartender says, ‘Sorry, no political talks here!’. The man then asks, ‘Can I talk about religious here?’. The bartender simply says, ‘No, we’re not allowing peoples to talks about religious here!’. ‘What if I talk about sex? Can I talk about sex in here?’, the man asks again and this time the bartender nodded his head and says, ‘Yes, you can’.

The man smiles and says, ‘Then, f**k you!’.

Joke no. 6:

Two mans were in a flight when a stewardess asked the first man whether he likes to have soft drinks or a glass of liquor. The first man, which actually was a businessman chose a glass of liquor. Then, the stewardess asked the second man which actually is a priest. He felt anger in an instant and shouted, ‘Don’t you know that I’m a man that simply cannot involved with this kind of drinks or sex?’.

The businessman then shouted, ‘Hey, I didn’t know that I had choices!’.

Joke no. 7:

A man knocked a woman’s door. A woman opens on it and the man asked, ‘Do you like sex?’. The woman felt anger and slammed the door.

The next day, the man again knocked the woman’s door. The woman opened the door and get shocked when she realized that it was the same man who knocked her door last night and had asks that unbelievable question. This time the man asked, ‘Do you expert in sex?’. This time the woman slammed the door more loudly than last night and she decided to tell her husband about this eccentric man. Her husband said that tomorrow he’ll stayed home to accompany her wife.

Then, at the same time with last night, the man came again today as expected. The woman’s husband stands behind the doors when the wife opened the doors. The man then asked, ‘Do you expert in practicing sex? How long have you and your husband didn’t have sex?’.

This time the woman try to remain cooled and then replies, ‘Yes, I do. Is this has something to do with you?’, she asked.

The man then replies, ‘Yes, ask your husband to get use of you and stay away from my wife!’.

Joke no. 8:

One night, a police was patrolling a garden when he saw a car was parking in a small corner of the dark garden which quite hidden from the publics. With his torchlight, he saw a man was reading a newspaper while a young girl was chewing bubble gum.

The man asked him, ‘Yes, sir. What can I do for you?’. The policeman was quite astounded and he replies by asked the man back, ‘What are you doing?’. ‘What does it looks like, sir?’, he answered before continued, ‘I’m reading this newspaper.’

The policeman seems not satisfied. He asked, ‘What is she doing?’. The man shrugged and replies, ‘It looks like she was chewing bubble gum’. Confused, the officer asked, ‘How old are you?’. ‘I’m forty-five’, he replied.

‘And how old is she?’, asked the officer. The man looked at his watch and said, ‘Well, in about five minutes, she’ll be eighteen…’.

Joke no. 9:

A man just wake from a stupor. He felt dizzy and simply asked his wife of what just happened to him. His wife said, ‘You’ve been drunk all night. First, you and your boss had meeting here last night. Then, you get drunk and start making trouble. You piss your boss!’.

‘What? Oh, no but, served him right. Then, what happened?’, he asked. His wife said, ‘He fired you’. ‘Served him right, f**k him!’ he said and her wife continued, ‘I did, and you got your job back!’.

Joke no. 10:

Three mans was captured by a man for having affairs with his daughters. He decided to kill them for deflowers his three daughters.

He asked the first man, ‘What do you do for living?’. The first man said, ‘I was a policeman’. The man said, ‘Then, I’ll shoot your penis off!'. Then, he did what he said.

Then he asked the second man, ‘What do you do for living?’. This time, the second man said that he was a fireman. The man said, ‘Then, I’ll burn your penis!’. He did what he said.

Finally, he asked the last man. ‘And you. What do you do for a living?’. The man snickered and answered, ‘I’m a lollipop salesman!’.